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B Petow's avatar

The grocery store is clearly a hotbed of information on humanity, which you mine so well. What would you do if you quit that job? And became the full-time writer you deserve to be??? Ah, the conundrums of it all. I am thoroughly enjoying how you take the mundane into the sublime. Write-on!

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Alexander Sorondo's avatar

Well dang, thank you! Ive actually called around about this, the idea of losing my job and what would I write about. A regional manager at Truly Nolan said I could do ridealongs with fumigators and one of the managers at Miami's oldest strip club said I could follow him around on the job too.

Might be humping the gun here but I think this newsletter would be pretty interesting if by some terrible misfortune I suddenly had enough money to quit this godless job.

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Alexander Kaplan's avatar

Humping the gun. Even your typos are interesting, lol.

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B Petow's avatar

Hmmm....sort of an investigative reporting, looking over the shoulder of....could be interesting. I'm sure you will figure it out and in the meantime, keep collecting the paycheck and the material to write about. Things you love have a way of morphing when you lean into them. Right now, your pain is our pleasure, but I'd hate to make that your life's calling. Yours is the only non-political read I indulge in.

I look forward to the next one....

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Lisa Pass's avatar

Sorry, humped the gun.... now that I can say it is a typo, i can get away with it a few times at work

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Alexander Sorondo's avatar

It was a typo but I opted not to correct.

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Alexander Sorondo's avatar

It was a typo but I opted not to correct.

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Lisa Pass's avatar

Was it a typo? I am planning on using that phrase as soon as possible. Now with playable deniability

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Lee Simmons's avatar

Laughing hysterically...like betrayed goats LOL and Sainku! OMG this is wonderful. Please carry on!

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Alexander Sorondo's avatar

"Are the goats still screaming, Alex?"

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Luisa Codevilla's avatar

And “without noting I am 400 bananas tall”! 😂

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Alexander Sorondo's avatar

It really puts things into perspective

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una cebolla's avatar

Wait im a spanish speaker and this just blew my minddd, is "sainku" the way english-speaking people reflect how we pronounce it? Im laughing so hard, never thought of it!

We have our own way of writing how "thank you" sounds with spanish accent, that would be "zenc yu". Obviously it's written in the way we read, but i never thought of it being written in another way of reading hahaha

Are there any other words people usually write down in a spanish pronunciation?

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T. Benjamin White's avatar

When are you going to write the great grocery store novel for us?

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Foma Blazhennikov's avatar

Sorondo is quietly going full installment novel on us. One day, all the bits and scraps published on Substack will miraculously come together into a semi-cohesive narrative about the human condition. It may just be some posthumously published thing, some snarky editor trying to milk a few more bucks out his deceased cash cow after someone else stole the film rights to Sorondo’s spectacular and unexpected murder with a lawn chair.

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Carol Noteboom's avatar

Love your writing style, humor, thought process(es), and subject matter. Am I hoping in vain that you'll write a book-length memoir next? PS I now think of you every time I go to a grocery store.

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Alexander Sorondo's avatar

That's such a delight to know! Glad Im in your head when you shop, and hopefully prompting a new lens through which to study the store.

My grocery book is partly done and I'll jump back in once time and means allow!

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Peter Gaffney's avatar

This is pretty great!

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Deborah Demander's avatar

You are the keeper of grocery secrets. Any mysteries.

Who eats four bananas while shopping?

Although I must admit to snacking on grapes (unwashed!) whilst perusing the aisles.

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Alexander Sorondo's avatar

I really looked forward to having you around, Deborah. But I understand. The unwashed grapes…they beckon…

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Deborah Demander's avatar

You crack me up 🤣

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Elizabeth Kaye Cook's avatar

Funny and unexpectedly touching, too.

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A Arbor's avatar

Excellent as always. Have you come across Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata? I think you'd really enjoy it.

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Melissa Abrahams's avatar

Loved this! Thanks so much. The best auto-fiction I’ve read in a long time (is it auto-fiction?).

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Shiba's avatar

Great visual language Alexander! LMAO on "400 bananas tall"! Mother approves of it all and looks forward to the next grocery installment. Who knew?

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