19 Comments
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John Madrid's avatar

The gummies and the tapes are doing the same work and you never once say so, which is what I liked. One only tasted like that because it cost a dollar a bear. The other only survives if she hands it over. Also the pistachio nutmeat man is a complete character in four lines and I resent how easy you made that look.

Deborah Demander's avatar

I love your comment!

Pistachio nutmeat man. Here I was picturing a woman, probably my age-ish. Long flowing hair. Long flowing skirts. Eyebrows crinkled in consternation at the ridiculousness of losing her nutmeats.

John Madrid's avatar

Long flowing skirts. That's a much better version than the one in my head, and I'm keeping it.

The Book Hunter's avatar

The condom comparison was 🤌. A great read for me and congrats on quitting. I’m at a crossroads, myself, so it’s nice to hear of a writer living as a writer.

Alexander Sorondo's avatar

Godspeed, Book Hunter. Fran Lebowitz says, whenever people say they’d move to New York but for the fact that they can’t afford it, she tells them, “Nobody can afford it. Nobody knows how it happens. They just get by. You will too.” That’s my vibe here. Hopefully.

The Book Hunter's avatar

Let that light show the way!

Deborah Demander's avatar

Perfect advice. Thank you (although meant for The Book Hunter,) it hit home.

And another home run when you quit that soul-sucking job.

Third homer, those gummy bears. in a condom. eight dollars. 😂🤣😂

David Roberts's avatar

I'm old enough to have watched the Robin Byrd show. It was very radical in the 1970s to see a naked woman on TV.

Alexander Sorondo's avatar

One thing that didn’t really come across in the documentary is how accessible this thing was. Could basically everyone in the area watch it?

David Roberts's avatar

I think you just needed cable. I was scared my parents would find out I had access. This was the other show I remember:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midnight_Blue_(TV_series)

Alexander Sorondo's avatar

I should’ve guessed Al Goldstein would be mentioned…

Matt Morgenstern's avatar

I know you're out of the job now, but are there are any plans to write nonfiction about the grocery space? Something like Bud Smith's Work or Simon Pare-Poupart's Trash!? I would scoop that up in a heartbeat.

Alexander Sorondo's avatar

Thanks, Matt! I’m actually wrapping up the novel that comes out next month, and then I’m full-bore into a grocery store novel! I considered a nonfiction approach but…that’s a bagga worms, man.

Tari Trowbridge's avatar

Interesting and made me laugh, as always.

Alexander Sorondo's avatar

I feel like Santa hearing that, Tari, thanks for saying so!

Karen Karbo's avatar

Dear Alex (Alexander? I think you go by Alex b/c of referencing your name tag at your former place of employment): May I just ask WHO are you? Are you the ghost of David Foster Wallace? An avatar of David Sedaris? I'm not sure how I found you (oh! I remember, the excellent profile of William Vollmann, shared by a discerning Facebook pal. Now I link that Vollmann profile to all of my students who cannot for the life of them figure out how to bring a human being to life on the page.) Anyway, you're a most excellent writer and newsletter-ist. I've been resisting upgrading to paid, because I'm not sure I won't be lining the coffers of Michael Chabon or some other very celebrated author who doesn't need the scratch. Enlighten me, please. And bravo for quitting that soul sucking job. Your writing will take you far (or, you know, as far as possible in lo these semi-literate times.) I am a huge fan.

Alexander Sorondo's avatar

Well dang, there’s a lotta compliments there, thank you! And yeah, I’m just writing from my desk at home. Used to be squeezing it into just the mornings or days off but now I’ve got a lot more of both.

But wow, really, thank you for such kind words, I’m really delighted you’re getting your kicks from the newsletter!

Sari Botha's avatar

I was worried the quirkiness would be gone after you resigned, but it's still here!

You're observant everywhere.

Rosie Whinray's avatar

I can dig it. Welcome to funemployment