25 Comments
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Corinne Clarkson's avatar

I can’t explain how fun it is to be reading about overly expensive shoes and then whipped around to the Heavens Gate cult, knowing that we will be back to the shoes somehow. I love it. Thoughts and prayers for your ankles.

Alexander Sorondo's avatar

So bizarre and wonderful to find other people on the same wavelength!

Theodore Bouloukos's avatar

I love that last line, wherein you swiped from Hamlet and made a denominal verb that's missing a k — it's these Tom Wolfe-isms of yours that add to the charm of reading you. Soon, I'll dive into Cubafruit — it's in the queue, I promise.

Alexander Sorondo's avatar

Dang, it's disarming to hear I did something in language I dont possess -- thanks for such a close reading! I couldnt have articulated it that way if I tried.

And thank you for picking up Cubafruit!

David Roberts's avatar

I liked the Yoricking, also! Mystified, however, by the reference to "wet willies." Looked it up and it's a moist finger in an ear or a chain restaurant.

Alexander Sorondo's avatar

Thank you! And a wet willy is a sort of grade school bullying tactic. A means for extracting lunch money against your will.

Working at the grocery store I should know better, but I (and almost everyone else) end up spending $8-10 on my lunch.

David Roberts's avatar

Got it.

Blake Nelson's avatar

i bought some Skechers at a Goodwill, because they were prescribed by my doctor. I hate them. But they make my toe, which gets sore, from getting as sore. Now, I look around and everyone has ridiculous shoes. Hokas are hilarious. But they were also on my list from my doctor. I think girls like it if you have terrible shoes. It humanizes you.

Sunday Stories's avatar

Girls don't care about boy shoes. They care about girl shoes.

Alexander Sorondo's avatar

I'll consult my reporting on this but you might be correct.

Alexander Sorondo's avatar

The Hoka store is right by my job, and our staff has a radical age gap: it's like college students, retirees, and a couple 40somethings. The more flourescent shades of Hoka were immediately ubiquitous among the retirees. Now there's a vibe that it's a geezer sneeker. But screw it. Have mercy on your toe, Blake. Join us.

Scott Warner's avatar

Dude as someone who walked the hard sales floor for 18 years

GET THE HOKAS

During my time I wore hip Doc Martens and now that that war is over my entire lower body is wracked with arthritis

My Hip Guy, my Knee Guy, and my Foot Guy all specifically said-

GET THE HOKAS

Alexander Sorondo's avatar

Amen — I just mentioned in a comment above: a guy on reddit mentioned that, if he could go back from middle age to give one piece of advice to his younger self, it’d be to take better care of his feet and his teeth. Tons of horror stories popped up underneath.

Scott Warner's avatar

If you’ve got supanation you should see a Foot Guy and get the right insert. Makes a big difference.

Greg's avatar

Honestly read through to the end to urge you to do what you have to take care of your feet and your gait -- it will only get worse over time. My dad had a lot of nasty falls, including what killed him, from a foot-dragging gait. Invest in yourself without shame

Alexander Sorondo's avatar

Agreed. I was compelled by a thread on reddit, a couple years ago, asking men over 50 what piece of advice they would give their eighteen-year-old self, and there was a surprising rally around a guy who said, “Take care of your feet and your teeth.” All these horror stories popped up underneath it. I take the footwear issue a little more seriously than I like.

Cheyenne's avatar

I worked on my feet for years and clearly remember the undignified day my podiatrist gave me an actual prescription for comfort shoes. I live in Birkenstocks now and also have some hideous Hokas for walking. I never buy cheap shoes anymore. Hot tip, though-check out Nordstrom Rack. They often have Hokas and the like on sale with no creepy, hovering salespeople to bother you.

Alexander Sorondo's avatar

So how does the prescription shoe thing work? I first heard about it in Atul Gawande's book about geriatric medicine, where there was an 85-year-old patient who went to her GP to talk about the spot on her lung, that her oncologist found, and the GP was like, "What you need a rx for is sneakers, because what youre wearing is flimsy, and at 85 you should be less worried about cancer than a bad fall."

Do you take the rx and go to a shoe store? Is it a mailing service?

(Also what was your job that kept you on your feet all day?)

Cheyenne's avatar

You take your prescription to a specialty comfort shoe store. They will help you find the right shoes for your needs and fit you for orthotics in the shoes if necessary. The salespeople are usually pretty knowledgeable and helpful and not at all creepy.

I ran retail boutiques for years. I am retired from retail now and have gone back to school to become a therapist.

Ana Salote's avatar

Absurdity is the truest thing.

Gene's avatar

Next time maybe try any New Balance that includes their rollbar technology. They fixed my son's overpronation.

Alexander Sorondo's avatar

Hey, if they're cheap and comfortable and help me walk straight, I'm down to give it a try (in three months or so)

A Arbor's avatar

This is such a perfect fit for this piece you may have been directly riffing on it, but just in case not flagging Terry Pratchett's thoughts on boots and socio-economic unfairness:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boots_theory

Jay Royston's avatar

So many great lines in here from the wet willie's to 'will give you the same expression a sex worker gives when you bring out ketchup'

Fun read!

Paul Speight's avatar

Standing up all day is a killer. I worked a couple of summers at Disney, and I still remember the joy of the one post on the rotation where you could sit down.

But now, desk job, plenty of my colleagues want the standing desk - bad backs...